he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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