Don't you send me to vm
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
