i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
