The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
