therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize