I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
