dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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