Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
