Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize