Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
