singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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