Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
