Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
