the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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