How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize