i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
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