ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
