lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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