Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
