my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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