I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
