Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
