You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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