hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Still dying that you shit outside
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize