i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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