when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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