Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
