Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
