Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize