On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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