There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
