I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
