I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
