I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
we should paint friendship bongs
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
