I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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