Just cropdusted the office
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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