$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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