You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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