i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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