Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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