So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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