You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
