Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize