If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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