hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
