Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
