Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
