after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
