You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
That accounts for only three of the penises
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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