That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize