You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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