He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
