Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
