Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Randomize
