Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
