dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
