Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
