They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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