But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
