Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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