my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
