WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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