You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
