I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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