Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
