How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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