Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
We got so high we made milksteak
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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