nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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