Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize