Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
